Sounds the call to come together and united we shall stand, let us live and strive for freedom....

So, I was enjoying the company of Young Ben last night whilst his mum and dad were off to the opera. 'Madame Butterfly' in Glasgow, who would have believed it. Most Glaswegians believe madame Butterfly is a female swimming stroke.

Young Ben was showing me his own swimming strokes as I was given the great honour and responsibility of giving him his bath before bedtime. He has a great time in the tub and is always reluctant to leave. I was singing him 'Five Little Ducks' and for a while he was somewhat concerned as one by one the ducks swam off over the hill and far away and did not return but he was relieved when a final "Quack, quack, quack, quack" from Mother Duck saw all five little ducks come swimming back. Some of those nursery songs can be a bit traumatic at times.

Anyway we reach the 90s this week. This was a decade where I spent most of my time watching my sons playing football and learned the art of diplomacy when all three were playing for separate teams and I had to watch a different one each week. There were some difficult moments there. No-one wants to miss a game against the 118th.

Here are my lists for the 90s

World Events

1. The release of Nelson Mandela in 1990 after serving 27 years in prison. An event which changed the world
2. The Dunblane Massacre in 1996. When 16 children and one adult were killed at a school in Dunblane, I and every other parent in Scotland thought, if this can happen in a place like Dunblane it can happen anywhere. A truly horrific and senseless incident
3. The OJ Simpson Trial in 1994....not the finest hour for the American justice system
4. The death of Princess Diana in 1997...for many people in the UK this was their 'Kennedy' moment
5. The Gulf War in 1990....a war we seem to have been fighting in one way or another ever since

Sporting Icons
1. Nelson Mandela....an inspirational figure to the South Africa team which won the Rugby World Cup in 1995  
As he prepared to hand over the cup to his captain, Mandela said: "François, thank you for what you have done for our country." Pienaar, with extraordinary presence of mind, replied: "No, Mr President. Thank you for what you have done."
2. Jona Lomu...who can forget the sight of him running straight through English defenders as he scored 4 tries in a 45-29 semi-final victory for the All Blacks against England
3. Zinedine Zidane...probably the finest footballer I have ever seen play live and the scorer of two goals against Brazil as France won the World Cup in 1998
4. Tiger Woods...love him or hate him there is no disputing Tiger changed the world of golf. After winning the Masters in 1997 he has gone on to win 14 Majors and he may not yet be finished
5. Lance Armstrong...only 2 years after being treated for testicular cancer Armstrong won the Tour de France in 1999 the first of seven consecutive victories in the race

Movies

1. Braveheart (1995)...."Freedom!"
2. American Beauty (1999)...one of my favourites..the always excellent Kevin Spacey at his very best
3. Pulp Fiction (1994)...Samuel L and JT and dialogue to die for (and quite a few did)
    "You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your      ***"
4. Leon (1994)...Jean Reno as the lovable hit-man, Natalie Portman as his young protege and Gary Oldman as the psychotic DEA Agent. Great movie
5. American History X (1998)...Edward Norton is outstanding as the neo-Nazi racist who sees the errors of his ways

Music

1. Hazard...Richard Marx (1992)...a family sing-along favourite
     He swears he left her by the river
     He swears he left her safe and sound
     He needs to hire OJ's lawyer.
2. You Get What You Give...New Radicals (1999)...just a great tune and there were not too many of them in the 90s
3. Disco 2000...Pulp (1995)...I always preferred Pulp to the more vaunted Oasis or Blur and this tune would even have me dancing albeit very badly. It also had a brilliant video
4. Ironic...Alanis Morissette (1996)...most of it was not actually Ironic but but this was deservedly still one of the biggest and best songs of the 90s
5. Driving With The Brakes On...Del Amitri (1995)...I just love this song
   "But unless the moon falls tonight, unless continents collide
    Nothing's gonna make me break from her side"

Personal Events

1. Beginning the decade watching my sons playing football and ending it teaching them to drive. Time does indeed fly
2. Seeing Scotland beat Sweden at the 1990 World Cup. I really don't expect to see another Scotland victory at the World Cup
3. Becoming self-employed and visiting some of the most picturesque places in England such as Walsall, Bootle, Oldham, Dudley and Grimsby to name but a few
4. Travelling to Monaco to see Scotland play Estonia in a rearranged World Cup Qualifier. Sitting in Casino Square having a beer and watching Scottish fans "chatting up" Stefanie Powers. I don't think it was quite what Stefanie was expecting from Monte Carlo
5. Becoming a non-married person

That's it for the 90s. Only the 2000s to go. I may need to ask my sons for some music choices

Above us only sky

So, I was babysitting Young Ben on Friday and bought him a Dinosaur book (you are never too young for Dinosaurs)

All the usual suspects were in there...the Stegosaurus, the Triceratops, the Diplidocus and Young Ben's personal favourite the Tyrannosaurus Rex (or Marc Bolan as we like to call him).

The old T. Rex was a particularly fierce character but I often wondered how he managed to tie his shoe-laces with that long body and those little short arms

Surprisingly in the book there was no mention of the Idontthinkhesaurus nor the IwasborninMaysoI'maTaurus (actually I am a Leo but that doesn't work quite so well)

Anyway, this week we have reached the 80s in the brief history of my world. This was a decade dominated by the birth of my three sons and sadly, the death of my mum

Here are my lists for the 80s

World Events

1. John Lennon shot dead in 1980. As someone who grew up listening to the music of The Beatles this had a huge impact on me
2. The Falklands War in 1982...I believe the vast majority of people in our country had no idea where The Falklands were until 1982
3. The Chernobyl Disaster in 1986...it is doubtful we will ever know the true cost of this 'nuclear accident'
4. The Lockerbie Bombing in 1988. ...259 passengers and 11 residents were killed when Pan Am Flight 103 exploded over Scottish soil. I remember this vividly as our family were flying out to Australia for a holiday the following week
5. The Fall of The Berlin Wall in 1989
    As prompted by that Hollywood Legend Ronnie Reagan two years earlier    

" There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Sporting Icons

1. Maradona....at the 1986 World Cup Maradona almost single-handedly defeated England. After a slightly dubious first goal Diego ran over half the length of the pitch beating several England players en route to scoring what is probably still the greatest World Cup Goal ever seen
2. Carl Lewis...outstanding American track and field athlete who won the 100 Metres Gold Medal at both the 1984 and 1988 Olympics and between 1984 and 1996 won the Long Jump Gold Medal at 4 consecutive Olympics
3. Mike Tyson...love him or hate him in the 80s there was no getting away from 'the baddest man on the planet'
4. Hulk Hogan....'Hulkamania' was big in our house in the 80s
5. Allan Wells....a Scotsman who was the fastest man in the world in 1980 when he won the 100 Metres Gold Medal at the Moscow Olympics (even if the Americans were in the huff because Russia invaded Afghanistan. Irony is a wonderful thing)

Movies

1. E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982)....looking forward to watching this again with Young Ben when he is old enough
2. Once Upon A Time In America (1984)...epic movie starring Robert De Niro and James Woods
3. Airplane (1980).....Surely you can't be serious?...Yes, I am and don't call me Shirley
4. Scarface (1983)...Pacino at his manic best..."Say hello to my little friend!"
5. When Harry Met Sally (1989)...I just love Meg Ryan and this was when Billy Crystal was still funny

Music

1. Super Trouper...Abba (1980)....number 1 when my first son was born
2. House Of Fun...Madness (1982)...number 1 when my second son was born
3. The Final Countdown...Europe (1986)...you guessed it...number 1 when my third son was born
4. Dignity..Deacon Blue (1987)....a family sing-along favourite
And I'll sail her up the west coast
Through villages and towns
I'll be on my holidays
They'll be doing their rounds
They'll ask me how I got her I'll say
I saved my money
They'll say isn't she pretty
That ship called Dignity
5. Tinseltown In The Rain...The Blue Nile (1984)...a classic from the vastly underrated Glasgow band

Personal Events

1/2/3.....No real surprises here as I have to go for the births of my three sons. Truly life changing events
4. The death of my mum in 1987. My dad lived for a further 20 years but was never quite the same man after my mum died. I think that almost certainly also applies to my brothers and I
5. To finish on a more positive note, I saw Springsteen live for the first time in 1985 at St James' Park in Newcastle. Probably the best concert I have ever seen

That's it for the 80s. Next week on to the 90s when I forgot to have my mid-life crisis. Maybe I'll just have an old age one instead

Anyway the thing is, what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

So, Young Ben and I were chatting this week and he remarked that he had noticed in recent weeks that my Blog was more Grandpa than Ben.

I tried to explain that my fervent follower would rather read the incoherent nostalgic ramblings of an old codger than be enthralled by the intrepid adventures of a precocious youngster.

I also told him that cycling round the living room backwards whilst reciting Milton's Paradise Lost just wasn't going to cut it anymore and that he had to up his game. When I left him this week he was reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu so it appears he has taken my words on board. Either that or he is looking to negotiate an increase in his pocket money

Anyway, moving swiftly along, this week I give you my life and times in the 70s. This was probably the most varied decade of my life and saw me move south, leave school, start work, move north, get married and lose something I would thankfully never get back. (Please note not all of these items are in chronological order)

Here are my lists from the 70s

World Events

1. Sunderland win the FA Cup in 1973 beating the mighty Leeds United in the final
2. The Munich massacre at the 1972 Olympics when members of the Israeli team were taken hostage by the Palestinian group Black September and eleven of them were killed.
3. Watergate 1974...would you buy a used car from Richard Nixon?
4. Patty Hearst....the American newspaper heiress who was kidnapped in 1974 by the Symbionese Liberation Army and then famously went on to join them and was caught after robbing a bank with them. She spent less than two years in jail and in later life was granted a presidential pardon by good old Bill Clinton
5. The Jonestown Massacre in 1978....when cult leader Jim Jones convinced more than 900 of his followers to commit suicide in their'community' in a South American jungle. These events are still beyond my comprehension

Sporting Icons

1. Pele.....at the 1970 World Cup Pele and Brazil showed how 'the beautiful game' was meant to be played
2. Bjorn Bjorg...he always seemed to be winning Wimbledon in the 70s. My mum and I used to often watch the tennis together but she always had a soft spot for McEnroe (I think it was because he had a bit more character than Mr Bjorg)
3. Red Rum....I am not a horse racing fan but even I have heard of the legendary horse which won The Grand National three times in the 70s
4. Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus.....their 'duel in the sun' at Turnberry in 1977 was a magnificent display of golf from two exemplary sportsmen. Watson is reported to have said to Nicklaus on the 16th tee of the final round "This is what it's all about, isn't it?" to which big Jack replied "You bet it is". Watson won on the 18th and Nicklaus in a memorable (but for him not surprising) act of sportsmanship, threw his arm around the champion's shoulder and walked him towards the scorer's tent
5. Sunderland AFC....did I mention they won the cup in 1973

Movies

1. The Exorcist (1973)...I remember when I saw this people were walking out of the theatre during the movie because they found it so disturbing. By modern day standards it would be considered fairly tame. It also used the wonderful Tubular Bells in the soundtrack
2. The Deer Hunter (1978)...Made a huge impact on me when I saw it for the first time and probably still my favourite movie of all time
3. Rollerball (1975) ...a real 70s movie with a real 70s star...James Caan
4. Soldier Blue (1970)...a Western that was more honest about the treatment of the Red Indians (Native Americans) than most of it's predecessors and it starred Candice Bergen
5. Blazing Saddles (1974) ...Mel Brooks at his best, a trail blazer for all the movie 'spoofs' to follow with a myriad of catch-phrases which I still use to this day
 "Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show? "
"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges"
"Mongo only pawn... in game of life"
"We'll kill the first born male child in every household"..."Too Jewish"
I need to stop here or I will go on all day and "this one is a doozy"

Music

1. Life On Mars....David Bowie (1973)....always been a big fan of Bowie and this is still his best for me. So evocative of the 70s that in recent years they named a TV series after it
2. Your Song...Elton John (1970)...over 40 years on and Elton has never bettered this classic
3. If There Is Something...Roxy Music (1972)...I saw Roxy several times in the 70s and bought all their albums (mainly for the covers). I heard this song used in the 2008 Daniel Craig film 'Flashbacks of a Fool' and it reminded me how good it was. Andy Mackay played a mean sax
'Shake your hair girl with your ponytail,
 Takes me right back (when you were young)
Throw your precious gifts into the air
Watch them fall down (when you were young)'
4. Born to Run...Bruce Springsteen (1975)....from his breakthrough album this gave 'The Boss' the critical and commercial success he has enjoyed ever since and is still as good as it gets in my book
5. Heart of Gold....Neil Young (1972)
 

I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

 

I'm still searching, Neil, still searching!

 

Personal Events

1. Being told by my mum and dad when I was 16 that we were leaving Ayr and moving to north-east England. I thought it was the end of my life but in fact the move provided me with some of the best years of my life
2. Started my first job in 1973 working as an expediter for Flymo. It doesn't get much more glamorous than that does it. At least our garden was always tidy
3. Passed my driving test in 1974. After messing my dad about for ages we decided to apply for a test date to give me something to aim at. They gave me a cancellation and my dad and I practised like crazy for two weeks and much to his and my great astonishment passed first time in his VW Beetle at Bishop Auckland. He was delighted as this meant he then got to listen to Bowie and Roxy in his car as well as at home
4. Moved back to Scotland in 1978 when my brother made me an offer I couldn't refuse and I entered the world of Retailing
5. Got married in 1979 after a whirlwind romance (I believe that's what they call it in the movies)
    I remember telephoning The Tarbet Hotel at Loch Lomond to book a room for our wedding night as this was a spot we had passed many times on our travels. When we arrived however I discovered I had actually booked a room at The Tarbert Hotel which was a further 70 miles away on winding country roads. Fortunately, given that it was November there was plenty of room available at our Loch Lomond Hotel and they were only to pleased to have us. I often wonder if they are still holding that room for me at The Tarbert. Maybe I will make it there next time.

That's it for the 70s. Next week it's the 80s which apart from the birth of my three sons had no obvious redeeming features. That one could take some effort

 

You think you lost your love, well I saw her yesterday. It's you she's thinking of and she told me what to say

I was sad to read this week about the death of Angelo Dundee trainer to the incomparable Muhammad Ali. I believe Ali to be the greatest sporting icon of my lifetime and this news led me to think about the people and events that have shaped my life and how certain incidents or people or songs are immediately identified with a certain time in my life

I have split these into 5 categories..World Events, Personal Events, Sporting Icons, Music and Movies and this week I give you my lists for the 1960s

World Events

1. The assassination of John F. Kennedy in 1963. Unlike most Americans I cannot tell you where I was when JFK was shot but I do recall that even as a boy of 9 in Ayr I knew that this was big news. Almost 50 years on and mystery still surrounds this event
2. The Moon Landing in 1969. Neil Armstrong and 'Buzz' Aldrin walk on the moon taking "small steps for man but giant leaps for mankind". Poor Michael Collins had to stay on board Columbia like some kind of getaway driver while his pals stole all the glory
3. The assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. in 1968. Growing up in Scotland in the 60s I was unfamiliar with the problems being experienced by black people in The USA but who could not be inspired by his "I have a Dream" speech
4. The assassination of Robert Kennedy in 1968 (there seems to be a bit of a theme here for the 1960s). I do recall hearing about this as I was leaving school one day and thinking that the Kennedy family was short on luck
5. The Six-Day War in 1967. I think this was when I first realised that Israel was not a country to be messed about with


Sporting Icons

1. The aforementioned Muhammad Ali..... I have never been a great fan of boxing but back then being heavyweight champion of the world really meant something and Ali was much more than just a boxer
2. Jim Clark....A Scotsman who could drive faster than anyone else in the world but sadly died in 1968 at the age of only 32
3. Bob Beamon....The man, who at the 1968 Olympics jumped nearly 2 feet further than anyone else had ever done before and set a Long Jump record that lasted for 23 years until it was finally broken in 1991
4. Denis Law......a star for Manchester United and Scotland who scored at Wembley in 1967 when Scotland beat England 3-2 to show that we were actually the best team in the world
5. Rod Laver...the only tennis player ever to achieve the Grand Slam twice

Movies

1. The Magnificent Seven (1960)...my favourite Western of all time with probably the greatest ever theme tune
2. Goldfinger (1964)..."No Mr Bond, I expect you to die", Sean Connery as Bond, Oddjob and his deadly bowler hat, Pussy Galore (a character played by Honor Blackman) and of course the Aston Martin DB5. I remember having a toy version of this complete with ejector seat and bullet-proof screen. Unfortunately I did not have any kind of version of Pussy Galore
3. A Hard Day's Night (1964)....still has the same effect on me today as it did when I saw it as a 10 year old. The Beatles at their best
4. Planet of the Apes (1968)...I remember seeing this in The Odeon in Ayr and loving it.
    "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!". Yes Charlton, I am afraid you were on earth all along
5. Barbarella (1968)....Jane Fonda in a space suit, out of a space suit, I was never the same again

Music

1. She Loves You---The Beatles (1963)....I mentioned to a friend the other day that it was almost 50 years since She Loves You was released and we agreed how much music changed in the 50 years before She Loves You and how little it has changed in the 50 years since
2. The Times They Are a-Changin'---Bob Dylan (1965)
 Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Perceptive fellow that Mr Zimmerman

3. This Guy's In Love With You---Herb Alpert (1968)....reason for the inclusion of this one will become apparent in final section
4. Reach Out---The Four Tops (1966)...I have mentioned before how my eldest brother bought this single and played it non-stop for what seemed like days, thereby etching it in the minds of my entire family for eternity and bringing back these memories on every occasion I have heard it ever since (strangely it is still one of my favourite songs)
5. California Dreamin'---The Mamas and The Papas (1965)...in my humble opinion the archetypal 60s pop song
all the leaves are brown and the sky is grey
I've been for a walk on a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A
California Dreamin' on such a winter's day

This song still makes me feel good every time I hear it

Personal Events

1. I remember one Saturday when I was about 14 playing rugby for Ayr Academy in the morning,  watching Ayr United in the afternoon and going to a party in the evening. I thought to myself at the time, does life get any better than this. I am not convinced it ever did
2. Getting a lift on the back of my brother's motorbike and wondering if I would ever be that cool. I never was.
3. Saw Ayr United beat Rangers 2-1 at Somerset Park in 1969. I was one of the 25,225 that day which formed Ayr's record home attendance
4. Asked Susan Waddell to a party in 1968 and after the shock of her saying yes, wore my best brown corduroy jacket and danced to This Guy's In Love With You. That's why it's on my songs list and still holds a special place in my heart
5. During a purge on long hair at Ayr Academy in the late 60s I was sent home from school and told not to come back until I had a haircut. I remember my mum and dad went to war with the school on that one and my mum did not lose those kinds of battles. Happy days!

That's it for the 60s. Bet you cannot wait for the 70s in the next instalment

I turn on the news and my body froze, the braying sheep on my TV screen make this boy shout, make this boy scream!

I believe 'Birdsong' may be as good a book as I have ever read, a compelling mix of love, loss and the futility of war. With this in mind it was with severe trepidation that I watched the recent BBC adaptation of the book.

I was pleasantly surprised. Although parts of the book were missed altogether I thought it was excellent and did the book justice.

I have read several reviews which do not share my opinion but I felt the characters portrayed on screen captured the essence of the book

It was always going to be impossible to recreate the scale of the horror of the Somme and the hell of working in the underground tunnels but I came away deeply moved and looking for my copy of 'Birdsong' to read again once I am finished with 'The Help'

Hollywood has a habit of taking a good book and destroying it but here is my list of 10 books I have read and enjoyed and then watched the movie version and been equally impressed

1. The Silence of the Lambs.......Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins in the movie version of the excellent Thomas Harris book. The same cannot be said for the later 'Hannibal Rising' which was an equally bad book and movie

2. Jaws.....By holding off on the appearance of the shark and using an outstanding soundtrack  Spielberg creates a tension equal to if not better than that in the book

3. No Country For Old Men....great book, great movie...no complaints

4. High Fidelity....The movie shifts Nick Hornby's entertaining book to the USA and surprisingly it works thanks mainly to the always dependable John Cusack and a cameo appearance by Mr Springsteen (I think I need to do a list of my Top 5 breakups)

5. A Clockwork Orange.....A novel with it's own language is recreated on screen by Stanley Kubrick. Ludwig Van never sounded better but 'Singing in the Rain' was never quite the same for me after it's use here

6. Last of the Mohicans....good book but I just love this movie despite not being the biggest fan of Daniel Day-Lewis

7. The Killing Fields....both the book and the movie moved me to tears

8. The Dead Zone....I used to read quite a bit of Stephen King. The Dead Zone was my favourite of his books and the movie had the inimitable Christopher Walken

9. The Outsiders.....a coming-of-age novel set in the 60s is directed on screen by Francis Ford Coppola with a host of up-and-coming stars including Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio and C. Thomas Howell

10. The 39 Steps....a book which my dad read to me and I read to my children but the 1935 movie had The Forth Railway Bridge and is still my favourite version of this book


But for every Yin there is a Yang so here are 5 of the worst adaptations of books I have read and liked

1. Captain Corelli's Mandolin.....the wonderful book by Louis de Bernieres is butchered on screen and even by his standards Nic Cage is truly awful

2. The Time Machine....the 1960 movie version of the H.G. Wells classic was not great but the 2002 version had Samantha Mumba as the female lead. Enough said!

3. The Perfect Catch.....What had previously worked with High Fidelity failed miserably here when Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch was moved to the USA and 'soccer' became baseball and Arsenal became the Boston Red Sox

4. The Time Traveller's Wife....a well written clever concept is turned into a melodramatic rom-com

5. The Beach....I really liked the Alex Garland book but Leonardo and the movie did nothing for me and I thought the video game sequence was cringe worthy

I may need to do a new list for bad movie versions of bad books. 'Never Let Me Go' would be top of both lists as I found the book and the movie equally pretentious and dull. But maybe that's just me

All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living

My friend was given a novelty gift at Christmas from his son. It was a set of cards entitled '50 Things To Do Once In A Lifetime'. We were somewhat disheartened to discover that between us we had only done about half of these things. So we split up the 'still to do' cards between us with a view to completing as many as we could before "the man comes around" as Mr Cash so aptly put it.

My cards contained 'Go Skydiving'/'Get Snapped By Paparazzi'/' Appear In A Police Line-Up'. I thought perhaps if I did the first one naked I might be able to cover all three in one fell swoop.

I decided to do my own list of '50 Things I Have Done Once(at least) In My Lifetime'

As Dermot says, in no particular order here they are



1. Saw Scotland beat England at Wembley
2. Been up the Eiffel Tower
3. Eaten a pretzel in Central Park
4. Gone crab hunting in Rothesay
5. Appeared as an extra in a movie
6. Been prawn fishing in a river in Australia
7. Watched the sun go down on Galway Bay
8. Saw Nick Faldo win The Open at Muirfield
9. Won a petanque tournament in Puerto Pollensa
10. Visited Alcatraz
11. Kissed Miss World
12. Watched the birth of my three sons
13. Swam in the sea at Juan-les-Pins (the place in the Peter Sarsted song)
14. Cheered on the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden
15. Watched my eldest son score a hat-trick against the 118th
16. Saw Springsteen live
17. Threw a coin in the Trevi Fountain
18. Won a chess tournament at school
19. Ate breakfast on the Champs-Elysees
20. Wrote a love song
21. Saw Scotland play in Iceland during 24 hour daylight time
22. Ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of Mezcal
23. Had a snake for a pet in South Africa
24. Turned down an offer of 3 camels for my then wife in Tunisia (those camels and I could have been very happy together)
25. Saw Scotland win a game at the World Cup in 1990
26. Had a beer in the Casino Square, Monte Carlo
27. Ate a Knickerbocker Glory with my mum and dad in Rothesay
28. Won a Shuffleboard competition in Gran Canaria
29. Watched France play Croatia at Euro 2004 in Portugal
30. Fell in love when I least expected it
31. Saw The Mona Lisa
32. Crossed the English Channel on a hovercraft
33. Worked at Butlins for a summer when I left school
34. Walked across The Golden Gate Bridge
35. Kissed Linda Bell (even better than kissing Miss World)
36. Sheared a sheep in Australia
37. Had a canal cruise in Amsterdam (yes, a canal cruise is what we are going for in Amsterdam)
38. Saw my middle son's face holding his new born son
39. Scored a try and missed the conversion for Ayr Academy First Year Thirds
40. Saw Real Madrid play Barcelona in the Bernabeu
41. Experienced the Vappu Festival in Helsinki
42. Met Gabriel Byrne walking across the Brooklyn Bridge (I wonder if this incident is in his top 50)
43. Drove a Bentley and an Aston Martin (both belonged to my brother)
44. Jumped off the top diving dale at Prestwick Baths
45. Won The Cyprus Open Pool Tournament (the majority of the other competitors were made up of my dad and my three young sons)
46. Had a picnic in St Stephen's Green in Dublin
47. Watched my youngest son graduate from Heriot Watt with a First Class Honours Degree
48. Sat in a cable car climbing halfway to the stars and left my heart in San Francisco
49. Was accused of spying at the Germany/Denmark border
50. Fed the Ducks in Queen's Park with Young Ben

I hope to enjoy the first of my next 50 on Saturday when Ayr United play Kilmarnock at Hampden in the Scottish League Cup Semi-Finals. A victory for Ayr Ayr Super Ayr would be the perfect start to my next series of experiences which should include seeing Ben play for Scotland and also having a number 1 single

I saw the rain dirty valley, you saw 'Brigadoon'

So, Young Ben is back from his holiday in Florida with wondrous tales of meeting Mickey Mouse and riding roller coasters

I remember the first time my family went to Florida. We were going just after Christmas and it was a surprise to our sons. Their mother and I cut up the letters spelling DISNEY and put two letters in each of the Christmas Cards to our sons

Now, my sons have always been very strong on Maths but Spelling was not their strong point at this time. "What is a YISNED?", I recall them asking.

After some assistance they managed to work it out and off we went on our first Disney adventure. We stayed in a villa in Kissimmee and drove everywhere. I remember the mix tape I had for the car contained 'Dignity' by Deacon Blue and 'The Whole of the Moon' by The Waterboys and we would sing along to these as we made our way to the parks

At Magic Kingdom we enjoyed Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain Railroad and of course It's A Small World. Aladdin had just been released at the movies and the 'Aladdin' Parades in the park were incredible.

We are not the most 'sciencie' family in the world so Epcot was somewhat wasted on us. (Who knows what Epcot stands for?). It did have a Monorail though which allowed us to act like The Simpsons and say "Mono-doh" many more times than we really should have.

Epcot also has a lake in the middle (or World Showcase Lagoon as the say) and surrounding this is the World Showcase, a selection of Pavilions depicting countries from around the globe. These are the most stereotypical buildings and characters you would ever wish to see. Anyone who has ever suffered Dick Van Dyke's accent in Mary Poppins has a fair idea what the United Kingdom Pavilion was like. Norway had vikings, France had the Eiffel Tower, Mexico had Aztecs and Canada had very little.

For their own Showcase though you can endure, sorry enjoy The American Adventure. I quote...
'Hosts Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain will take you through a stirring exploration of America's past. On the way, you'll meet visionaries such as:

Thomas Jefferson

Frederick Douglass

Susan B. Anthony

Alexander Graham Bell

Teddy Roosevelt

John F. Kennedy

Martin Luther King Jr.'

Strangely I always thought Alexander Graham Bell was Scottish but who am I to argue with Disney

When we were there I recall, at the end of the show, the audience all stood and applauded. They obviously loved American Patriotism Disney style

The best event at Epcot was undoubtedly the fireworks display  from the centre of the lagoon. This was spectacular and given that they did this every evening said a lot for their organisation

We also visited Seaworld but at the time we were there the main attraction Shamu, the killer whale, was pregnant and not really up for entertaining expectant tourists

Our favourite park was definitely Universal Studios with Back to the Future, King Kong, Earthquake and Jaws.
We loved Jaws. When you are sitting in that boat in the middle of an amusement park in Florida you obviously know that the shark is not real. Or is it? When it attacks the boat and you are sitting near the edge it certainly looks real enough. My son tells me that Jaws and Back to the Future have now been closed down. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Universal also had the Psycho House situated up on a hill. I remember we could see it from The Hard Rock Cafe when we were eating there and it seemed like there was a light in the window and someone sitting in a rocking chair. It almost put me off my Cheeseburger

We also drove to Busch Gardens in Tampa and I was forced to go on all the Roller coasters. I recall they eased you in gently and then each one seemed to increase in size until finally you arrived at Kumba. My insides have never been the same again. Although even worse than that was the Swinging Galleon whose arc grew steeper and steeper until you were vertical to the ground and then decided it would be fun to stop when you were upside down. That was horrific. It seems unlikely I will ever make the astronaut programme

I have to say though that writing about these parks has brought back fond memories and I would like to think that Young Ben and I might yet share a roller coaster some time in the future

By the way EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow