So, the schools went back this week in Scotland. There were tears as Young Ben and I parted at the gates but I explained that I really wanted to pass that Physics 'O' Level and after 40 years of trying I think this could be the year.
I grew up in Ayr but I don't really remember my first day at Heathfield Primary School but I recall it was so long ago it was in black-and-white. However I do recall walking there and back every day and a distinct lack of four by fours parked on the zig-zags outside the school. They would come much later when my own sons went to school and parents could not make the time or effort to walk 50 yards
Anyway Heathfield school is situated right on the boundary between Ayr and Prestwick so was populated from children from both places. At the time I left for Secondary School my best pal Gordon Smith and the girl of my Primary School dreams (let's call her Catherine) both went on to Prestwick Academy because they lived on the wrong side of the tracks whereas I progressed to Ayr Academy
I remember at that time for some odd reason we spent six months at an intermediate school, I think so that everyone would start Secondary School at the same time (I don't know why we just didn't finish Primary School at the same time). My only recollection of that time at Newton Park School was winning a Chess tournament and receiving as a prize....a chess book (no wonder I was such a hit with the girls back then)
The year I went to Ayr Academy was the last year before it went Comprehensive. My two older brothers had attended this school before me and were smarter, sportier, better looking and generally cooler than I was in every way possible and the teachers had the decency to point this out to me at every available opportunity.
I remember one day walking round the Boys' playground (Boys and Girls had separate playgrounds) and seeing two older pupils playing a chess game in their heads "Knight to King's Bishop Three".."Oh, great move Clive". That was when I stopped playing chess and started playing three card brag with the smokers in the Boys' Toilets although I did refrain from smoking (you can only take this young rebel bit so far you know)
.....and then there was Susan...she was tall, blonde and way out of my league. She came from Doonfoot and was very posh. To show how posh she was she even pronounced her second name Waugh-Dell rather than Waddle (like a duck does...and yes I mean like a duck waddles not how it pronounces waddle). Anyway she must have admired my nerve as she agreed to go to a party with me at a house overlooking The Low Green at the Ayr seafront. That may well have been the best night of my life, dressed in my new brown corduroy jacket, dancing to Herb Alpert singing This Guy's In Love With You (I can't remember what Susan was doing at the time). I still get tingles whenever I hear that song. It didn't last however. Susan soon caught the eye of some older guy who played stand-off for the First XV and that was the end of me a mere prop for the First Year 'C's
Then when I was 15 my mum and dad decided to move to North-East England. I have previously related the maroon blazer story so I will not repeat it here again suffice to say I had a somewhat inauspicious start to school life south of the border
Life did improve even on that fateful day though when I saw her for the very first time
She was the equivalent of the Prom Queen
She was blonde
She was intelligent
She was sporty
She was gorgeous
She was Lesley Blair (let's call her Lesley to save any unnecessary embarrassment for Linda, sorry Lesley)
To this day I'm still not sure if I took my A-Level subjects of English Literature, French and German for any academic reasons or simply because I knew they were the subjects she was taking (just as well she didn't do Physics-that could have been a problem)
Unfortunately, as with the American movies it was not to be for Lesley and me. She was already an item with the All American Boy (who admittedly was English) He was captain of the football team, ran faster and jumped higher and longer than anyone else in school, was super intelligent and looked like a young Robert Redford in 'The Way We Were'. To make matters worse he was a really good guy and no matter how hard I tried I could only envy him not dislike him
I remember meeting Lesley at a Christmas Party some time later when she was back from Uni. She had found God apparently. I gave it my best shot and told her 'it was more blessed to give than to receive' but that one fell on stony ground. I did manage a Christmas Kiss though and remember being in perfect agreement with Roy Wood as he sang "I Wish it could be Christmas every Day"
At the time I went to school in England it was the fashion (fashion being a relative term in north-east England) to use a form of haversack as a schoolbag and to adorn it with the names of your favourite pop artists or football teams. Deciding that Ayr United might be a bit too 'off the wall' mine had 'DYLAN' proudly emblazoned in heavy letters until it was pointed out to me that one of the girls in our class was nicknamed 'Dylan', I believe because she resembled the character from 'The Magic Roundabout' and me having 'Dylan' on my bag was taken as a symbol of my affection for her rather than Mr Zimmerman. Not a wise move when her boyfriend was a member of the local skinhead gang (ah the skinheads, how fondly I remember my countless jovial encounters with those forward thinking lads--but those stories are for another day). Anyway the word 'BOB' was quickly added to my haversack in letters which dwarfed all others
That school Wolsingham Grammar catered for pupils all up and down the Wear Valley and I remember my dad giving me a lift from our house in Howden-le-Wear to a girl's house in St John's Chapel which was nearly 25 miles up the valley from where we lived. He even went home and came back for me later. Thanks dad, I wish I could say it was worth the 100 mile double-round trip. Actually at that time it probably was
Anyway I am off to do my Physics homework now whilst listening to Herb Alpert
"say you're in love, in love with this guy"....where E is energy, m is mass and c is the speed of light in a vacuum....."if not I'll just die"
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