Sunday, December 18, 2011

It was the only thing that I could do half right and it's turning out all wrong ma


So, Young Ben and I had a disagreement the other day. He asked me if I wanted to listen to his new CD of Little Mix singing Cannonball and I said I would rather he poked me in the eye with a sharp stick. Fortunately his mum does not allow him to play with sharp sticks so he had to make do with his finger

For years now The X Factor and it's predecessors and contemporaries have given a stage for glorified Karaoke singers to 'butcher' classic songs but this year they have surpassed themselves by  allowing the wonderful 'Cannonball' by one of my favourite artists Damien Rice to be released as the winner's single by Pick'n'Mix

I thought they had reached their nadir with 'Hallelujah' a couple of years ago but this year even tops that. Former talent show winner Will Young has single-handedly assassinated Evergreen, Light My Fire, The Long and Winding Road (this one assisted by Gareth Gates) and most recently Come On which I recall as being the theme tune to the excellent TV series 'Rescue Me'

Last year I had the misfortune to witness Storm perform 'Born to Run' which was an all time low at that time but week after week perfectly good songs are tortured by singers who would not make you sit up and take notice if they were singing in your local pub

Even the professionals have a habit of covering songs which should really just be left alone. I give you my Top 10 Worst Covers (not including Talent Show Winners)

1. American Pie....Madonna......I guess she thought because she is Madonna she can sing any song she wants, but to cover the Don McLean classic was a big mistake

2. Father and Son....Boyzone....Cat Stevens was a favourite of mine when I was growing up and did not deserve for this to happen to probably his best song

3. The Man Who Sold The World....Lulu....no explanation required

4. Dock of the Bay....Michael Bolton....poor Otis must be spinning in his grave

5. Blinded by the Light....Manfred Mann's Earthband...Golden Rule of Music No 1...Don't cover Springsteen...he does it best

6. Behind Blue Eyes...Limp Bizkit....strange choice of cover from a strange band

7. Under the Boardwalk....Bruce Willis...Brucie you are much better suited to being Up on the Roof of the Nakatomi Plaza and leave the singing to The Drifters

8. Itchycoo Park...M People...I must admit to not being a fan of M People and this version of a 60s classic did nothing to change my mind

9. Without You......Maria Carey.....Loved the original hit by Nilsson (although admittedly not written by him)....hated this

10. Baby Can I Hold You....Boyzone...Ronan and the boys are at it again, this time Tracy Chapman is the victim


Occasionally a cover comes along which does the original justice so as a balance I give you my Top 10 Best Covers

1. All Along the Watchtower...Jimi Hendrix....I am a huge Dylan fan but Hendrix took this song to a whole new level

2. Hurt....Johnny Cash.....this Nine Inch Nails song could have been written for Mr Cash. Incredible performance

3. Jersey Girl....Springsteen...to misquote Mr Orwell...Tom Waits good..Springsteen better

4. Romeo and Juliet...The Killers....loved the original by Dire Straits but Brandon gives his all on this one

5. My Way..The Sex Pistols....I have always considered this a pretentious song and Sid Vicious gives it the treatment it deserves

6. Ruby Tuesday....Melanie....hard to better The Stones but my dad was a fan of Melanie so she makes the list (and it is an excellent version)

7. Live and Let Die...Guns n' Roses....my sons were into them for a while when they were young and this one grew on me

8. I Will Always Love You...Whitney Houston....sorry Dolly but Whitney gets my vote here. I need to watch The Bodyguard again soon

9. I Fought the Law....The Clash...the late 50s song by The Crickets seemed more appropriate for Thatcher's late 70s Britain

10. Tainted Love...Soft Cell ...Marc Almond turned this 60s soul song into an 80s classic which still sounds good thirty years on


Right, I am off to wrap some presents while I still have one good eye left before Ben finds his dad's Westlife CD

No comments:

Post a Comment