I was bruised and battered and I couldn't tell what I felt, I was unrecognisable to myself

So, Young Ben and I were watching The Oscars last night whilst his mum and dad were out gallivanting. He was not too happy that "The King's Peach" won best picture as he was definitely rooting for "Toy Story 3" but neither of us had any complaints about Natalie Portman winning Best Actress and I promised him that when he was old enough I would let him see Natalie in one of my favourite films "Leon". He was also disappointed to learn that "The Black Swan" was a movie about ballet and had nothing to do with one of his favourite books of the same name by Nassim Taleb explaining the Black Swan Theory. His bedtime story is always a toss-up between this and The Gruffalo.

The year I was born "On The Waterfront" won Best Picture and Marlon Brando won Best Actor and I am quite happy with that

Best Picture for the year I was married was "Kramer Vs Kramer" which turned out fairly prophetic but "Apocalypse Now" was also nominated that year which would have served just as well

My three sons were born in the 80s which was about as good for movies as it was for music. My eldest son was born in 1980 when "Ordinary People" and not "Raging Bull" won Best Picture although at least De Niro did win Best Actor for his role in "Raging Bull"

In 1982 when Ben's dad was born Best Picture was won by "Gandhi" and not the wonderful "ET-The Extra-Terrestrial" but at least Best Actor was won by a Ben (Mr Kingsley) and when he was young Sean did have a blow-up ET figure rather than a blow-up Gandhi one.

My youngest son was born in 1986 and had the cheery "Platoon" as his Best Picture but the legend Paul Newman won Best Actor for "The Colour Of Money" and Michael Caine Best Supporting Actor for "Hannah and Her Sisters"

In 1987 when Ben's mum was born Best Supporting Actor was won by SEAN Connery, showing that you can always find a tenuous link if you look hard enough

Best Song in my year was "Three Coins In A Fountain" and my opinion of 80s music is not changed by the winners from the four years mentioned above...1980--"Fame"...1982---"Up Where We Belong"...1986---"Take My Breath Away"....and 1987 ..."(I've had) The Time Of My Life. At least Young Ben has "We Belong Together" by Randy Newman from Toy Story 3 so it will be a song he is familiar with

I leave you this week with my Top 5 Best Song Oscar Winners from down the years (I may struggle to find 5 here)

1. Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen (1993)
2. Shaft by Isaac Hayes (1971)
3. Moon River from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (1961)
4. The Way We Were by Barbara Streissand (1973)
5. Do Not Forsake Me , Oh My Darlin' from High Noon (1952)

I said it would be a struggle. I cannot believe that neither "The Graduate" in 1967 or "Midnight Cowboy" in 1969 had any nominations in The Best Song Category

as morning breaks the heaven on high I lift my load to the sky, sun comes down with a burning glow

Young Ben and I were chatting yesterday and I was recounting tales of his dad when he was a boy. I was telling him of the many summers we had in Rothesay and what great times we had down there over the years.

One of the great attractions of Rothesay was that you went on a ferry to get there and although you were only an hour and a half from home crossing the water made it seem like another world. There was only a small black and white TV in the flat we stayed in and no telephone so you felt cut off from the outside world (this was in the days before everyone and their granny had a mobile phone)

The flat overlooked the promenade and had a fantastic view out over the bay but more importantly it overlooked the finest putting greens in the West of Scotland. Many a hole in one I sank on those greens and also unfortunately many a par busting four after a disastrous "half way Harry" first putt. The prize for the winner (and everyone else for that matter ) was normally a Knickerbocker Glory at the ice cream shop and then on to further adventures

We would often cycle out to Ettrick Bay and partake in the great family tradition...Crab Hunting (I look forward to taking Ben on his first Crab Hunting expedition). No rock was left unturned in search of a "beauty" and I recall one sunny afternoon we turned over a sheet of corrugated metal and there underneath was the Holy Grail...Crab City. There were crabs of all sizes everywhere who had been disturbed by the Gods above but after we had picked up and inspected a few we returned them to their home and carefully put back the cover to their world so they could once again go about their duties and tell tales to their crab grandchildren of how they repelled the giant invaders from above.

On the way back from Ettrick Bay we would pass through Port Bannatyne which for some reason used to have flags of the world on poles all along the prom. This proved to be very educational for my sons and their flag knowledge now is far superior to mine (admittedly, at first, it did help if the country had played in the World Cup)

Heading out of Rothesay in the opposite direction is Craigmore and we would regularly walk out to the excellent cafe situated there. Along the way we would skim stones in the sea and play another of our home made games where you stood on the prom and had to land stones on top of the the concrete pillars which were situated on the shore. They had metal hatches partly covering their tops and I recall you were awarded 3 points for landing on top of the pillar but 5 points if you landed on the metal hatch. I admit it is not exactly an Olympic Sport but it did keep us entertained

Further down this coast is Kerrycroy with it's maypole. This was a great spot for picnics and games of rounders and french cricket. I can remember the boys jumping into the sea here off the stone jetty. I think I did it once and realised even back then I was getting too old for that kind of reckless abandon

Another favourite spot for a picnic was St. Blane's Chapel which is beautifully isolated. I am not a religious man but there is an aura to that place which touches even my cold heartless soul

I recall one evening when I was having a well earned pint in Mac's Bar the locals were talking about a whale being washed up on Scalpsie Bay on the other side of the island, so next day we set off to see this. As we came closer the whale looked absolutely huge and it was only when we reached it and touched it that we realised it was actually a fake made from fibreglass for use in the updated version of "The Tales Of Para Handy". We later saw them filming the show at Kilchattan Bay but we did not manage to persuade them to give any of us our big acting break

Putting was not the only sport available to us on Bute. At Kingarth I remember my dad trying to teach the boys the finer points of Bowls. He fought a losing battle here I am afraid and their bowling action was more Ian Botham than David Bryant

And then there was the 9 hole golf course at Stavanna Bay. If all golf courses were like this I may even have taken up the game seriously. It was open to the public with a Courtesy Box for payment for your round. The "greens" had fences surrounding them to stop the cattle from wandering on to them. Their were stone dykes across the "fairways". One of the holes has the beach as most of it's fairway unless you are extremely accurate (which we were not) and your ball would often disappear from sight never to be seen again, down a rabbit hole, into a burn or into clumps of bushes which had their own life forms inhabiting therein. You needed a vast supply of golf balls when you played this course.It was wonderful and the scenery was breathtaking. On a fine day looking across towards The Sleeping Warrior in Arran you would not wish to be anywhere else in the world

My word I feel like I am writing for the Bute Tourist Board here but I think Young Ben and I may have to take a trip "doon the water" fairly soon

Is it the cry of the river with the moonlight shining through, that ain't what scares me baby, what scares me is losing you

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
1,2,3,4,5...

So Young Ben and I were writing our Valentine Cards yesterday. Well actually I was writing my Valentine Cards and he was preparing his e-cards and updating his relationship status on Facebook. The days of SWALK and HOLLAND are apparently long gone. When I was researching Valentine's Day online (touch of irony there) I learnt that many of the acronyms used at this time of year originated from letters sent during the Second World War. A soldier would send home a letter with the message ITALY (I trust and love you) or the more tasteful NORWICH ( knickers off ready when I come home...KORWICH just would not have worked so well) and hope not to receive the response CHIP (come home I'm pregnant)

...6, 7, 8...

The card I received last year from Angelina had a nice rhyme included

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you don't stop stalking me
I'll have a restraining order put on you

At least I know she has noticed me

Valentine's Day is not always a time of peace and love however. In 1929 the infamous St. Valentine's Day Massacre took place in Chicago with the murder of 7 gang associates of Bugs Moran. See what happens if you forget a card or flowers.

..9, 10...

And on February 14th 1779 the great explorer Captain James Cook was killed by natives in Hawaii. Steve McGarrett is never there when you really need him

Also on 14th February 1876 the lawyers of Alexander Graham Bell filed a patent for the telephone. Typical Scotsman, invents the telephone so he does not have to bother sending a Valentine Card

A few years ago I decided to have a nice romantic Valentine's night with my then wife. I booked a table for 8pm. She was not impressed. How was I to know she didn't like snooker

...11, 12, 13 (how could I forget 13)

Not for the first time I turn to Mr Burns to convey what I could never attempt to with regards to love on this special day

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve!
And fare-thee-weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' 'twere ten thousand mile!

Well said Rabbie.For my small contribution I leave you this week with my St. Valentine's Day Love Song Mix

1. Secret Garden.....Bruce Springsteen
2. Love Minus Zero/ No Limit....Bob Dylan
3. Your Song.......Elton John
4. If I Fell............Beatles
5. Truly, Madly, Deeply...Savage Garden
6. If You're Not The One...Daniel Beddingfield
7. Aime.....Damien Rice
8. This Guy's In Love With You....Herb Alpert
9. Cupid..Sam Cooke
10. How Can I Tell You...Cat Stevens
11. Still Crazy After All These Years....Paul Simon
12. Constant Craving...k.d. lang
13. Love And Regret....Deacon Blue
14. Woman.....John Lennon
15. The Wonder Of You...Elvis Presley

...14 (I think that's all the ways I know)

every step of the way will find us, with the cares of the world far behind us

I was saddened to hear of the death of John Barry last week, a man whose music has been gracing films for my entire life, with the likes of Born Free in 1966 to the haunting theme from Midnight Cowboy in 1969 and an Oscar winning score for one of my favourite films Dances With Wolves in 1990, which I watched again recently with Young Ben (or Child Who Has Grandfather Wrapped Around His Little Finger to give him his Sioux name)

However I imagine John Barry will be best remembered for his connection to the James Bond Movies, so as a tribute to Mr Barry I give you my favourite James Bond linked list

Best James Bond..........Sean Connery (so good he even has the same name as Ben's dad)
Best Bond Movie................Goldfinger
Best Bond Song........We Have All The Time In The World by Louis Armstrong from the vastly underrated On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Best Bond Girl.....Ursula Andress in Dr No
Best Bond Villain....Oddjob and his deadly bowler hat from Goldfinger closely followed by Robert Shaw in From Russia With Love (if only he had not made the schoolboy error of ordering red wine with fish)
Best Bond Gadget.....Jetpack in Thunderball
Best Quote......."No Mr Bond I expect you to die" by Auric Goldfinger
Best Fight Scene....Madagascar Chase Scene with Daniel Craig in Casino Royale
Best Bond Car...Aston Martin DB5 (you guessed it...from Goldfinger...but, own up, how many of you over the years have not wished at least once that your car had an ejector seat that could remove a tiresome passenger?)
Worst Bond Movie....Moonraker...just awful
Worst Bond Villain...Grace Jones as Mayday in A View To A Kill
Worst Bond Song....The Man With The Golden Gun by Lulu

It is fitting that I write about James Bond this week as my good friend Kevin from Dundee celebrates his 50th birthday on Friday and is himself a bit of a James Bond aficionado and has on more than one occasion turned down the opportunity to play 007 due to work commitments and the fact that he would need to have a haircut

I leave you this week with my Top Ten Items not to buy Kevin for his 50th (this will mean nothing to anyone who does not know Kevin, but he has always been a good friend and he does read my Blog every week and you are only 50 once unless You Only Live Twice....see what I did there?)

1. Official Match Programme of the 1980 Scottish League Cup Final
2. Concert tickets to Ricky Ross Deacon Blue reunion concert
3. Free table for life at annual Burns Supper in Glasgow
4. Giovanni Di Stefano Autobiography
5. Arab costume for Halloween
6. Weegies v Edinbuggers book (to show how we Central Belters are the best)
7. ELO Greatest Hits CD featuring extended version of Mr Blue Sky
8. The SFL Official 25 Point Survival Guide
9. DVD of Euro 2008 Qualifier Scotland 1 Italy 2 (time to let it go Kev...just let it go)
10. Hair Brush

His name is Knox, Kevin Knox