Obviously I am taking my grandfatherly duties extremely seriously, so this week I discovered a site online which gave me The Top 10 Tips for Being a Good Grandparent. "Result!" I thought. There would now be no end to my grandparenting skills which were already considerable.
These are the Top Tips
1. Be respectful that there are usually four grandparents with different needs, abilities and opinions.....remember this applies even if some grandparents are from Fife
2. Understand that the parents make the rules. Ask beforehand on activities you plan and what are appropriate gifts....then once you are alone with grandchild do what you like anyway
3. Do not criticize, especially your child's significant other. What you might think is helpful advice might be perceived by them as veiled criticism and affect your relationship with them....I really should have read this 6 weeks ago
4. Read to them-all children love being read to and it's a great bonding exercise....so, 'The Honest Men opened the scoring a minute before the break when Stuart Bannigan netted'
5. If you are going to drive, have car seats fitted and have someone show you their proper use....so no more standing up in the back seat with head out the window then
6. When babysitting, make sure you write down the information you will need about nap-time, bedtime, feeding schedules etc....then try to remember what you did with aforementioned information
7. Defer to the parents for disciplinary procedures for misbehaviours....that way you never give them into trouble and you are always the good guy
8. Show that there are alternatives to TV...obviously this excludes Match of the Day
9. Be sensitive to not play favourites and give each grandchild a little separate one-on-one time....apparently this applies even if the grandchild is a girl
10. When you're talking to your grandchildren, make notes about their interests, pets' names, books they've been reading, doll's name.....hold on a minute, if young Ben has a doll, I will be having a quiet word
In an ideal world all of the above points seem perfectly logical. Unfortunately, I do not live in an ideal world, I live in Glasgow, so here are my Top 10 Tips for Being a Good Grandparent in Glasgow
1. Buy your grandchild his first fish supper, washed down with a can of Irn-Bru and followed by a Macaroon Bar
2. Teach him how to climb a tree
3. Take your place on the settee together and watch Spartacus, Ben-Hur, The Magnificent 7 and The Great Escape (not necessarily all on the same night)
4. Buy him his first Springsteen album, it's never too early
5. Teach him how to play proper games like Chess, Dominoes and various Card games
6. Tell him embarrassing stories about his mum and dad
7. Take him to Rothesay (countless generations of our family have had to suffer this, why should he escape)
8. Whilst at Rothesay teach him how to skim stones and hunt for crabs (it's not all bad in Rothesay)
9. Take him to his first (and probably last) Ayr United game (get in quick before his dad takes him over to the dark side)
10. Tell him about girls and how they are nothing but trouble, but that you should always have some trouble in your life
No need to thank me all you now more-enlightened grandparents out there, the improved happiness and well-being of your grandchildren is thanks enough
My top ten tips to surviving grandparenthood:
ReplyDelete1. Show him a 'magic' trick
2. Look on him as a portable backing group by teaching him to do the good bits in pop songs - Georgie Fame's Yeh, Yeh, the Beatles' She loves you & Baby you can drive my car, and a million others
3. Re your 6 above, keep an unlimited supply of snaps of Mummy & Daddy you can produce at moments of crisis
4. Become immune to listening to endless repetitions of The Wheels on the Bus, preferably by adding increasingly bizarre verses of your own
5. Let him choose your activities - I am responsible (responsible?) only for health and safety (mind that car!) and timekeeping - never ever be late getting him home to his mum
6. Take him upstairs on a bus (preferably a double-decker) and sit at the front
6. When he is still learning to speak, teach him one great word that will blow his parents mind - Jack and I did 'iguana', the reaction was priceless
7. Don't fret too much during 5 little ducks - it has a happy ending
8. Never tell him a secret - his mum will find out before you get him home
9. Whenever you hear a horn, siren or similar noise, ask him 'Is that your bottom?'
10. Do one activity regularly - kids like some structure and anticipation is exciting - we always have ice cream (with sprinkles and raspberry sauce)
Yep, doing the hard things is what being a grandparent is all about.
2, before the amendment, seems to defeat the entire point of being a grandparent.
ReplyDelete8's good though. It's important to remember you can play video games on a tv, it's not just for watching.
Macaroon bars. I associate those most with Rothesay funnily enough, I'm not sure I even knew you could buy them in Glasgow. Great things. Shame we don't have them in London.
It's never too early to introduce a child to Georgie Fame.
More of a tablet man than a macaroon.
ReplyDeleteUsed to love the church jumble sales in Rothesay for that reason.
And fish supper?What about a black pudding supper?Or haggis supper?You'll be turning him into one of those southern softies!Next you'll be telling me that you put sugar on his porridge!!!
And how about skimming crabs?