I was watching the excellent Mystic River again last week and when Tim Robbins came to a sticky end it made me think about deaths in movies I have seen, so you will be astonished to hear that I decided to do some lists of same
WARNING---SPOILER ALERT ....just in case you have not seen any of the following films
Movie Deaths at which I have shed a tear
1. Burt Lancaster in Vera Cruz.......I know it was either him or Gary Cooper but surely they could have worked something out
2. Mel Gibson in Braveheart..........Freedom!
3. Jon Voight in The Champ.........."wake up, Champ"
4. Edward Furlong in American History X....Edward Norton turns his life around and loses his brother in a senseless shooting
5. Jean Reno in Leon..........the lovable hit man
6. Michael Clarke Duncan (John Coffey) in The Green Mile...."I'm tired boss"
7. Eric Schweig (Uncas) in The Last Of The Mohicans..........the second last of the Mohicans
8. The aforementioned Tim Robbins in Mystic River.......executed by Sean Penn for a crime he did not commit
9. Roberto Begnini in Life is Beautiful...it was hard to see a happy ending coming here and it didn't
10. Gil Bellows (Tommy Williams) in The Shawshank Redemption....."if I drop this ******* thing you got me on destruction of property too"
Movie Deaths I was not sorry to see
1. Joaquin Pheonix in Gladiator......even a half-dead Russell Crowe was too good for him
2. Glen Campbell in True Grit (1969)....if John Wayne died every time he was hit on the head 'The Duke' would not have seen the end of many movies
3. Stephen Boyd (Massala) in Ben Hur...if only Ben had carried out better maintenance on his roof tiles
4. Gary Oldman (Stansfield) in Leon.....shoots Leon in the back but receives a gift "from Mathilda"
5. The Army escort party in Dances With Wolves.....received their just deserts
Unexpected Movie Deaths
1. Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea..you would think a man with the experience of of Samuel L would know better than stand next to a pool containing super intelligent and hungry sharks
2. John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.....always take your gun with you when you go to the toilet JT
3. Steven Seagal in Executive Decision......I didn't think Seagal was allowed to die in any of his films
4. Christian Bale (Dan Evans) in 3.10 To Yuma (2007).....Van Hefflin survived the 1957 version so this came as a surprise to me
5. Kim Richards (the little girl with the ice cream) in Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)...."I wanted vanilla twist"
Inevitable Movie Deaths
1. Al Pacino in Scarface.............."say hello to my little friend"
2. Christopher Walken in The Deer Hunter....."One shot"
3. Michael Douglas in Falling Down......"I'm the bad guy? How did that happen?"
4. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes in Romeo and Juliet....even Hollywood did not change the ending of Mr Shakespeare in this instance
5. Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughan, James Coburn, Brad Dexter in The Magnificent Seven...You knew there had to be collateral damage and it was never going to be Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen or Horst Buchholz who played the young hotheaded Chico
Characters who should have suffered Movie Deaths
1. Louise Fletcher (Nurse Ratched) in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest....Jack should have finished the job
2. Meryl Streep in Kramer vs. Kramer...an early demise would have saved a lot of heartache
3. Doug Hutchison (Percy Wetmore) in The Green Mile......you really should have wet that sponge Percy
4. Masato Harada (Omura) in The Last Samurai.......a coward among honourable men
5. Jack Black in Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny.............94 minutes of my life that I will never get back
Animals (non-cartoon) that suffered Movie Deaths
1. Two Socks the wolf in Dances With Wolves....keep your head down Two Socks
2. Hooch in Turner and Hooch....it's a dog in a Tom Hanks movie, how could they?
3. King Kong....the big fella is minding his own business on his island when along comes Fay Wray or Naomi Watts to turn his life upside down. Women, eh?
4. Old Yeller....boy meets dog, boy loves dog, dog fights rabid wolf, dog gets rabies, boy shoots dog, boy gets new dog
5. Jaws......don't smile you son of a *****, you were just doing what comes naturally
I am sure there will be some that I have missed in all categories, but as long as they don't kill off Dexter on TV I will be happy
WARNING---SPOILER ALERT ....just in case you have not seen any of the following films
Movie Deaths at which I have shed a tear
1. Burt Lancaster in Vera Cruz.......I know it was either him or Gary Cooper but surely they could have worked something out
2. Mel Gibson in Braveheart..........Freedom!
3. Jon Voight in The Champ.........."wake up, Champ"
4. Edward Furlong in American History X....Edward Norton turns his life around and loses his brother in a senseless shooting
5. Jean Reno in Leon..........the lovable hit man
6. Michael Clarke Duncan (John Coffey) in The Green Mile...."I'm tired boss"
7. Eric Schweig (Uncas) in The Last Of The Mohicans..........the second last of the Mohicans
8. The aforementioned Tim Robbins in Mystic River.......executed by Sean Penn for a crime he did not commit
9. Roberto Begnini in Life is Beautiful...it was hard to see a happy ending coming here and it didn't
10. Gil Bellows (Tommy Williams) in The Shawshank Redemption....."if I drop this ******* thing you got me on destruction of property too"
Movie Deaths I was not sorry to see
1. Joaquin Pheonix in Gladiator......even a half-dead Russell Crowe was too good for him
2. Glen Campbell in True Grit (1969)....if John Wayne died every time he was hit on the head 'The Duke' would not have seen the end of many movies
3. Stephen Boyd (Massala) in Ben Hur...if only Ben had carried out better maintenance on his roof tiles
4. Gary Oldman (Stansfield) in Leon.....shoots Leon in the back but receives a gift "from Mathilda"
5. The Army escort party in Dances With Wolves.....received their just deserts
Unexpected Movie Deaths
1. Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea..you would think a man with the experience of of Samuel L would know better than stand next to a pool containing super intelligent and hungry sharks
2. John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.....always take your gun with you when you go to the toilet JT
3. Steven Seagal in Executive Decision......I didn't think Seagal was allowed to die in any of his films
4. Christian Bale (Dan Evans) in 3.10 To Yuma (2007).....Van Hefflin survived the 1957 version so this came as a surprise to me
5. Kim Richards (the little girl with the ice cream) in Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)...."I wanted vanilla twist"
Inevitable Movie Deaths
1. Al Pacino in Scarface.............."say hello to my little friend"
2. Christopher Walken in The Deer Hunter....."One shot"
3. Michael Douglas in Falling Down......"I'm the bad guy? How did that happen?"
4. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes in Romeo and Juliet....even Hollywood did not change the ending of Mr Shakespeare in this instance
5. Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughan, James Coburn, Brad Dexter in The Magnificent Seven...You knew there had to be collateral damage and it was never going to be Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen or Horst Buchholz who played the young hotheaded Chico
Characters who should have suffered Movie Deaths
1. Louise Fletcher (Nurse Ratched) in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest....Jack should have finished the job
2. Meryl Streep in Kramer vs. Kramer...an early demise would have saved a lot of heartache
3. Doug Hutchison (Percy Wetmore) in The Green Mile......you really should have wet that sponge Percy
4. Masato Harada (Omura) in The Last Samurai.......a coward among honourable men
5. Jack Black in Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny.............94 minutes of my life that I will never get back
Animals (non-cartoon) that suffered Movie Deaths
1. Two Socks the wolf in Dances With Wolves....keep your head down Two Socks
2. Hooch in Turner and Hooch....it's a dog in a Tom Hanks movie, how could they?
3. King Kong....the big fella is minding his own business on his island when along comes Fay Wray or Naomi Watts to turn his life upside down. Women, eh?
4. Old Yeller....boy meets dog, boy loves dog, dog fights rabid wolf, dog gets rabies, boy shoots dog, boy gets new dog
5. Jaws......don't smile you son of a *****, you were just doing what comes naturally
I am sure there will be some that I have missed in all categories, but as long as they don't kill off Dexter on TV I will be happy
In your 'shed a tear' category I nominate Kirk Douglas in The Vikings, sneakily stabbed by snivelling Tony Curtis, a man not fit to row his boat.
ReplyDeleteIn the 'inevitable' category, all the baddies in all the Man with no Name movies. Ol' Clint sure could clean up house.