I load up my revolver, sharpen up my knife, some redneck messin' with me man, I'm bound to have his life

It was sad to read about the death of Larry Hagman last week, an actor who will always be remembered as J.R, Ewing the larger than life likable rogue from the 80s TV series Dallas

Dallas was huge back then and the hype and excitement that surrounded the "Who Shot J.R?" episode gripped a whole nation and was even covered on National news bulletins

At the time Hagman was negotiating a new contract so for a while it was touch and go whether J.R. would pull through or not but the makers realised that Dallas without J.R. would be like Taggart without Taggart, so he pulled through to fight dirty another day

I remember that time very well. My wife was eight months pregnant with our first child and we were living in a one bedroom flat in Cathcart. Blondie were at number 1 in the charts with "The Tide Is High", soon to be displaced by Abba with "Super Trouper" which was number 1 when my first son was born. Ayr United had narrowly missed out on reaching the Scottish League Cup Final as a result of some extremely dubious decisions which went in favour of Dundee in the Semi-Final, a pint of beer cost 35p and John Lennon was still alive. Good times. (Oh, Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister and Ronald Reagan had just become president of the U.S.A...make up your own mind about those ones)

I do not watch Eastenders or Coronation Street or the likes so in my lifetime the only other TV episode which seemed to cause such widespread excitement was when Richard Kimble finally caught up with the one-armed man in the last ever episode of "The Fugitive" in 1967

Dallas was full of excellent characters although even J.R. didn't seem to notice when his mum changed from Barbara Bel Geddes to Donna Reed for a while and then back to Barbara Bel Geddes again

At least when actor Jim Davis died they had the good grace not to replace him as Jock Ewing but instead to introduce Howard Keel as Miss Ellie's new beau. I always half-expected him to burst into "Bless your beautiful hide"

His loving wife Sue Ellen suffered much at the hands of J.R. but at least he did give her a reference as "a drunk, a tramp and an unfit mother"

His brother Bobby's wife played by Victoria Principal (most of the time) had the unfortunate distinction to be involved in probably the worst plot line ever when she awoke to find her husband in the shower at the start of Season 10. This came as a shock to most of us who had seen Bobby die at the end of season 8. This was explained away as just a dream by Pamela which left the whole of Season 9 as never having happened. I believe I gave up at that point or I may have just dreamt that I gave up. Who Knows? Who cares?

They even made a Dallas spin-off series called Knots Landing which I managed to avoid and I could not bring myself to watch the recent revamped production of Dallas currently showing on TV

Hagman also starred in the 1960s comedy series 'I Dream of Jeannie' which was remarkably similar to the 1960s comedy series 'Bewitched' but 'Bewitched' had Elizabeth Montgomery and her twitchy nose which always won me over

His fellow Dallas stars Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray were both apparently with him and his family when he died and spoke very highly of him. It seems in real life he was nothing like the scheming character he played so well on screen and he will be sadly missed

Wherever he is now he should take note of one of his own quotes as J.R.:
"Like my daddy always said: if you can't get in the front door, just go around the back"

You messed about, I caught you out

Last week Chris Gayle of the West Indies hit a six from the first ball of their Test Match against Bangladesh.

The first Cricket Test Match was in 1877 and since then there have been over 2,000 more and yet this is the first time this has ever been done in a Test Match

It comes as no surprise that it is Chris Gayle who has created this record. I watched him recently as he set about destroying teams in the T20 World Cup in Sri Lanka and he does hit a cricket ball an incredibly long way. He played a major part as West Indies went on to win the competition beating hosts Sri Lanka in the final. My dad had an expression he used to use when he watched cricket, "Hit out or get out!". I think he would have approved of Chris Gayle.

I am not a huge cricket fan but I started watching it on TV in the late 60s and early 70s when I should have been studying for exams. Some of the greatest players I remember were part of the West Indies team over the years. The one and only Sir Garfield Sobers who famously hit 6 sixes from one over in 1968 whilst playing for Nottinghamshire. Sir Viv Richards, Gordon Greenidge, Clive Lloyd and Brian Lara all produced great batting performances over the years. Lara scored 400 and 375 against England and also managed to score 501 for Warwickshire in 1994

West Indian fast bowlers have a history of terrorising the opposition and I well recall the likes of Malcolm Marshall,Curtly Ambrose, Joel Garner and Michael Holding doing just that on a regular basis. Micheal Holding now commentates on the cricket on TV and has one of those voices you could listen to all day

The West Indian Cricket Team is made up of a Sporting Confederation of 15 countries, British dependencies and non-British dependencies which probably explains why there so often appears to be a lack of team harmony but on their day they are probably the most entertaining cricket team in the world

It has always surprised me that our friends from across the pond have never taken to cricket. It is a game full of statistics which American sports fans just love and if they can get excited about really tall men running up and down a court and throwing a ball through a hoop and also have a 'World Seies' for 'Rounders' why can't they also embrace this riveting sport. Just think of all the advertising revenue from TV adverts over a five day Test Match.

....and then there are the fielding positions in cricket....backward short leg, deep cover point, silly mid-off, long off, long on, gully...and we are merely scratching the surface here. Surely that has more appeal than pitcher, catcher, shortstop, first baseman, second baseman, third baseman, left fielder, centre (sorry, center) fielder and right fielder. I mean come on guys let's use a little imagination here. Couldn't you find room for a deep square leg somewhere in there?

I leave you this week with my Top 10 Cricket Related Songs

1. It's Over.............................................Roy Orbison
2. Bat Out Of Hell..................................Meatloaf
3. Run, Run, Run....................................The Velvet Underground
4. Cover Me...........................................Bruce Springsteen
5. Catch Us If You Can..........................The Dave Clarke Five
6. Long Leg(ged) Woman Dressed In Black....Mungo Jerry
7. Slip Sliding Away........................................Paul Simon
8. The Point Of No Return...........................Jeff Lynne
9. Silly (mid-on) Love Songs........................Wings
10. Theme From 'The Third Man'.................Anton Karas

I am going to declare at this point. See you next week! 

........Just for one day

So, in the course of a week Young Ben's obsession has moved from Fireman Sam to Spider-man.

His mum bought him a Spider-man Comic with a free Spider Gun and that was that. Inside the comic were mini-posters of Spidey and other Superheroes and I remembered that years ago I used to cut out figures from comics (probably footballers) and paste them on to card so that they could stand up. Well with the help of an empty Coco Pops box and using my best Blue Peter skills Spider-man, Captain America, the Torch, the Thing and Wolverine were suddenly displayed in their 2D prime

Being made from paper and card they are not going to last long in Ben's World but he appreciated the effort just the same

During lunch with my brother this week we were discussing Superhero Comics and growing up you tended either to be a DC Comics fan or a Marvel Comics one. He is a bit older than me and was always a DC man but I embraced the brave new world of Marvel Comics with open arms

In the interests of fairness I will give you my Top 5 Superheroes from both camps and you can make up your own mind

TOP 5 DC SUPERHEROES

1. Superman........the Man of Steel who wore his underpants outside his trousers and hid his real identity with a pair of glasses is probably still the most famous Superhero of them all. Christopher Reeve famously played Superman in four movies in the 70s and 80s and Brandon Routh played him in 2006. There was also the long running TV series Smallville in which Tom Welling starred as the young Clark Kent. My favourite Superman adversary was Mr Mxyzptlk from the Fifth Dimension (the place not the 60s pop group). He could only be stopped by tricking him into saying or spelling his own name backwards. This always intrigued me as most of us could not even say his name forwards never mind backwards

2. Batman..............The Caped Crusader is currently having a massive resurgence as The Dark Knight played in the cinema by Christian Bale but I best remember him from the 60s TV series starring Adam West and Burt Ward and featuring wonderful villains like The Joker, The Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman and Mr Freeze

3. Only at Number 3 and already I am struggling....The Flash....he could run very fast. I guess that makes Usain Bolt a modern day Superhero

4. Aquaman......if any wrongdoings were happening at sea then he was your (Aqua)man but as brilliantly portrayed in Family Guy any misdeed on dry land would result in him being only a water treading spectator

5. Green Arrow/Green Lantern.....really scraping the barrel now. Take your pick....one had a bow and arrow, the other had a lantern but they were both green

TOP 5 MARVEL SUPERHEROES

1. Spider-man......."with great power there must also come great responsibility"...after Peter Parker was bitten by that radio-active spider things were never quite the same again. Tobey Maguire played the webslinger in three Spiderman movies and Spidey is played by Andrew Garfield in 'The Amazing Spider-Man" released earlier this year. My own favourite villains in Spider-Man were Doctor Octopus, The Green Goblin and Sandman

2. The Fantastic Four.....the Beatles of the Superhero world consisted of The Human Torch (a flying fireball), the Invisible Woman (I am not sure what she could do), her husband Mr Fantastic who could stretch all parts of his body into incredible lengths and shapes which was a huge bonus for Mrs Fantastic and my personal favourite The Thing, a sort of grumpy Mr T with stone-like flesh

The Thing never lost a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors with his friend Edward Scissorhands

3. Iron Man....he has been brilliantly brought to the big screen by the excellent Robert Downey Jr who has almost single handed managed to turn this somewhat run of the mill Superhero into a major player

4. The X-Men....the X-Men have had more changes to their line-up than Fleetwood Mac but the ones I remember from my early comic buying days were Cyclops/Iceman/Arch-Angel/Beast and Marvel Girl (obviously less PC back then or they should have been called the X-People)
The X-Men have now become a major movie franchise and the 2000 movie starred Halle Berry as Storm, so nothing bad to say about that one whatsoever

5. The Hulk....."Don't make me angry.You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"....the not so jolly green giant with the heart of gold was supposedly inspired by the story 'Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" and somehow Bruce Banner's trousers always seemed to still fit the mighty torso of the Hulk. The TV series always seemed to end each episode with Bruce Bannerwalking along some country road with suitably depressing accompanying music. On the big screen he has been portrayed in recent years by both Eric Bana and Edward Norton

Captain America, Thor and The Silver Surfer don't even make the Top 5 so I do believe the strength in depth shown by Marvel outweighs the contribution of the undoubted talents of Superman and Batman

As Robin would have put it..."Holy Superheroes Batman! I think we have a winner!"

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo, I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go

The silhouettes of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Stegosaurus loom menacingly against a dark November morning sky.

Where else would you be but Glasgow? Last Saturday morning Young Ben and I dropped his dad off in Anniesland to play football and carried on out Great Western Road to Jurassic Parr in search of Golf and Dinosaurs

Armed only with an apple and a banana we entered the enclosure, protected on all sides by high fences and barbed wire.

We followed the dinosaur footprints and were soon in the company of giants from another age

A Triceratops mocked my feeble attempt at a four footer as we halved the first hole

Young Ben's concentration was broken by grunting noises from the bushes. He told me to stop trying to put him off

A helicopter in the middle of the 6th green made judging the line of your putt somewhat difficult

Despite having several T. Rex figures at home Ben was rather unsure of the main attraction at Jurassic Parr. He was OK when it was still and silent but as you pass it you set off a sensor and the T. Rex moves and roars. Ben was not altogether happy with this

Given that I was two holes down I had to resort to setting off the T. Rex sensor just as Ben was taking his shot. All is fair in love and mini-golf.

Not exactly Jack Nicklaus on the Swilcan Bridge at St Andrew's but Ben was in no mood to pose as he had fallen behind by this time

Ben informed me that if my ball was in the nice friendly Dragon Serpent's mouth I could get it back myself and that it would cost me a penalty shot

A passing Brachiosaurus proved an unnecessary distraction as I dropped yet another shot and Ben drew level once again

Ben strides down the 18th in victorious style as a collapse of Adam Scott proportions allows Grandpa to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory

Ben thoroughly enjoyed his time at Jurassic Parr and although I would have liked to have seen a life size model of Raquel Welch in her fur bikini amongst the prehistoric creatures I also thought it was excellent

By the time we left the sun was shining and in the afternoon I saw  my team Ayr United crush the mighty Inverness Clachnacuddin 2-1 in the Scottish Cup so all in all a more than satisfactory day all round.

This is the end, hold your breath and count to ten, feel the earth move and then hear my heart burst again

I went to see the new James Bond movie Skyfall at the cinema last Friday and was highly impressed.

This particular movie has been severely hyped up but did not disappoint. I will not give any details away, suffice to say it is up there with the best of the old-school Bond movies and Daniel Craig is excellent.

Given that I cannot go into the details of the movie, this week I present instead my Favourite Top 5s of all things James Bond

Top 5 Actors to Play James Bond

1. Sean Connery
2. Daniel Craig
3. Timothy Dalton
4. Pierce Brosnan
5. George Lazenby (makes Top 5 because he is not Roger Moore)

Top 5 Bond Movies

1. Goldfinger
2. Skyfall
3. From Russia With Love
4. Dr No
5. Casino Royale (2006)

Top 5 Songs from Bond Movies

1. We Have All the Time In the World by Louis Armstrong from 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service'
2. You Only Live Twice, title song sung by Nancy Sinatra
3. Live and Let Die, title song sung by Wings
4. The Living Daylights, title song sung by A-Ha
5. A View To A Kill, title song sung by Duran Duran

Top 5 Bond Girls

1.

Ursula Andress in Dr No

2.

                                                 Shirley Eaton in Goldfinger
                                                                       
                                                                               3.

                                           Diana Rigg in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

                                                                              4.

                                                       Halle Berry in Die Another Day

                                                                               5.

                                                     Claudine Auger in Thunderball


Top 5 Villains

1. Oddjob in Goldfinger
2. Christopher Walken as Max Zorin from A View To A Kill
3. Robert Shaw as Grant in From Russia With Love
4. Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in Golden Eye
5. Javier Bardem as Raoul Silva in Skyfall

Top 5 Bond Cars

1.

                                          Aston Martin DB5 from Goldfinger

2.

                                          Sunbeam Alpine from Dr No

3.

                                           Aston Martin Vanquish from Die Another Day

4.

                                           Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me

5.

                                         AMC Hornet from The Man With The Golden Gun
                                        (more for the corkscrew jump stunt rather than the actual car)

Now, if only I had kept my Dinky model of the Aston Martin DB5 from all those years ago it would probably now be worth more than my real car

OK. Stop reading this and go and see Skyfall. You will love it!

I've built walls, a fortess deep and mighty, that none may penetrate

Young Ben and I had another excellent day in Rouken Glen Park last week.

We went prepared this time and had bread with us to feed the ducks. That being said, feeding the ducks proved more difficult than we would have imagined as other birds of various varieties (apart from seagulls my bird identifying game is extremely weak) swooped in and stole the bread from under the ducks' beaks.

We managed to entice some ducks closer to the side of the pond but still had to virtually land the bread in their mouths to stop the aeriel acrobatics of the flying thieves from being successful.

I mentioned earlier that we were prepared for our park visit. This was not true in all departments. Ben was wearing his Converse Trainers rather than his trusty Wellies but still managed to splash through every puddle there was round the perimeter of the pond. I blame his mum for this, though obviously not out loud.

After our bread was finished we made our way round the pond to the bridge over the waterfall. Being careful not to waken any of the trolls snoozing beneath the bridge we launched some sizable sticks into the water above the falls and then rushed to the other side of the bridge to watch them cascading downstream.

Just further on from the waterfall we came across the Rouken Glen Himalayas. A daunting prospect for most park visitors but not for intrepid mountaineers such as Ben and myself.

Leaving the buggy at base camp and establishing that Ben would not require any pit stops as there is no 'p' in ascent we set off upwards

There were a couple of tricky moments on the way and at one point I thought I may have had to cut my own arm off but Ben managed to rescue me from that particular cliffhanger in under 127 hours. On reaching the summit Ben had a brief rest to survey the world around him from his lofty spot but then we had to move for a young lad on his bike so off he went down the other side in search of new adventures

It is rewarding to realise that in this modern age where children have constant access to TV and Computers that a few rocks in the open air can still inspire a two year old for hours. By the time we headed back to the car, I am not sure which of the two of us was more tuckered out

In recognition of our momentous climb I leave you this week with my Top 10 Mountain Related Pop Songs

1. Ain't No Mountain High Enough............Dianna Ross
2. Sugar Mountain.....................................Neil Young
3. Rocky Mountain Way............................Joe Walsh
4. Love On A Mountain Top.....................Robert Knight
5. Misty Mountain Hop.............................Led Zeppelin
6. I Never Asked To Be Your Mountain...Tim Buckley
7. Big Rock Candy Mountain....................Burl Ives
8. River Deep, Mountain High..................Ike and Tina Turner
9. Rocky Mountain High..........................John Denver
10. Mountains.........................................Biffy Clyro

I hope you appreciate that I did not include Everesting Love by The Love Affair or anything by K2 Melua or The Fujis.........and definitely no Cliff!

Right, I am off to watch The Eiger Sanction now so that Clint can show me how it should be done. See you next week!

People around every corner they seem to smile and say we don't care what your name is boy, we'll never turn you away

I was down in Liverpool last week with my mate Kevin. While he was at his meeting I had the chance to do a bit of sightseeing

I have visited Liverpool many times over the years, both for business and pleasure and I have to confess it is not one of my favourite cities. This has always come as a surprise to me given that it is a city with a history steeped in music and football which are the two main vices in my own life

On this occasion I took a drive down into the Albert Dock area and along the side of the Mersey. This area has been majorly redeveloped in recent years and is now an important tourist destination for the city. There is the obligatory Yellow Submarine in the Dock and a Water Bus which I believe is called the Yellow Duckmarine. This appeared to be riding fairly low in the water and I was pleased that a man of my size was not adding to it's already sizable load.

The Mersey looking east...not a ferry in sight

The Mersey looking west and still not a ferry to be seen

The Liverpool Big Wheel and the Echo Arena

I have to say I was impressed by what has been done to this area so I thought I should weigh up my Liverpool influences in life to see if I have misjudged it in the past

MUSIC

You would expect this to be a large tick in the Plus Column with greats from the 60s such as The Beatles, Billy Fury, Gerry and the Pacemakers, The Searchers and Billy J Kramer and more recent acts like Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Teardrop Explodes and Echo and the Bunnymen.

But then I give you Frankie Vaughan, Ken Dodd, Cilla Black, The Scaffold, Sonia, Atomic Kitten and Rebecca Ferguson so already that category is tarnished

FOOTBALL

I have seen many football matches on Merseyside but three in particular had a major emotional impact on me.
In 1977 I was at Anfield with my two brothers to see Scotland beat Wales (yes, we used to actually beat Wales) and qualify for the 1978 World Cup. This was one of the best football occasions I have ever experienced and one of the finest goals I have ever seen from Mr Dalglish

A year earlier in 1976 I saw Sunderland lose 2-0 to Everton and suffer relegation on the same night that Coventry and Bristol City contrived to play out a 2-2 draw which saved them both. Not that I am bitter but I shed no tears for the current plight of those two particular teams

A few years ago my three sons and I drove down to Goodison for a game just after Christmas which Sunderland lost 5-0. My friend Dave from Liverpool, who we visited this week, got us tickets for this game. Unfortunately they were in an Everton fans section of the ground. It's not easy looking cheerful when your team is losing 5-0 and you are about to drive back up the road to Glasgow

So even allowing for the genius of King Kenny I would still say that is a tick in the Minus Column

TV

Apart from Z-Cars in the 60s and the wonderful Boys From The Blackstuff in the 80s I cannot think of any TV shows set in Liverpool which I have liked. Conversely we have the truly awful Bread, The Liver Birds, Brookside, Liverpool 1 and Watching (which along with the others mentioned certainly wasn't worth)

The Royal Liver Building with Polly James and Nerys Hughes visible on top of the towers


FILMS

In this category I can only bring myself to mention '51st State' which is undoubtedly one of the worst films I have ever seen and I have no idea what convinced Samuel L Jackson to participate in this movie and to wear a kilt whilst doing so. Unbelievably bad!

COMEDIANS

I can watch John Bishop but the appeal of Jimmy Tarbuck, Tom O'Connor, Paul O'Grady, Ken Dodd, Stan Boardman and Norman Vaughan has always escaped me. Maybe it's just me.

POP SONGS

I have always had a soft spot for 'Ferry Cross The Mersey' and 'Penny Lane' and 'Strawberry Fields Forever' are songs which reflect well on the city but then you have 'In My Liverpool Home' and 'Liverpool Lou' from our old friends The Scaffold and the truly cringe worthy 'Long Haired Lover From Liverpool' from Little Jimmy Osmond. I cannot decide whether or not I like 'Going Down To Liverpool' by The Bangles. It's certainly no 'Manic Monday' but has a certain strange charm

So there you have it. I am not sure there was enough there to change my initial ruling. In Scotland I think we would call it Not Proven

Notwithstanding it was a most enjoyable trip!

Me, I funk but I don't care, I ain't no square with my corkscrew hair

So, Young Ben turned two last Saturday and celebrated with a dinosaur party at Rainforest Adventure Soft Play Centre in East Kilbride

Several guests came dressed as dinosaurs and even some of the kids also had costumes. It was bedlam. There is a large area with slides and ropes and tunnels and bridges and many other wonderful activities

I did not venture into this area but Ben took his dad and his Uncle Den on a series of expeditions into this magical land. I did notice that on several occasions long after Ben emerged from this area my two sons were still climbing and sliding away. Obviously they were just looking after one another. That's what brothers do

He received a vast array of presents including a snapping T.Rex head on the end of a stick which was excellent for terrorising passers by

Many of the presents were dinosaur themed but I also saw toys featuring Peppa Pig, Thomas The Tank Engine and Chuggington amongst the substantial collection which should just about last him until Santa comes

I bought him a Fireman Sam set as this is one of our favourite shows which we watch on our days together. Pontypandy only has about a dozen people living in the town but it has more fires than California in the dry season

Food was served in a room upstairs including jelly and ice cream and a chocolate fondue fountain. All manner of foodstuffs were dipped in chocolate even Maltesers. You can never have enough chocolate on chocolate

After a slight lull in the chaos during intake of nourishment they were off downstairs again on a treasure hunt.

All in all a fine time was had by all. In the evening Ben took his Mum and Dad and his big cousin to a Disney on Ice show at Braehead Arena featuring Mickey and Minnie and his own personal favourite 'The Lion King' or 'Baby Roar' as he likes to call young Simba

Whilst watching the Barca vs Real Madrid game on Sunday night I received a text from my son showing Ben in his new Barca strip with Ben 2 on the back. This was a present from his Uncle Den and in the words of Mr Stewart he certainly 'Wore it well'

Who knows in a few years he may be wearing one of these for real. I would be happy to see him in an Ayr top and the way we are playing this season that could happen fairly soon

So, that was the birthday weekend. He has now reached 'The Terrible Twos'. I look forward to another year of delight from the wonder that is my grandson Ben.

Well, pistons keep on churnin' and the wheels go 'round and 'round and the steel rails they lie cold and hard on the mountains they go down

As I have previously mentioned I do love a good bridge and in particular a good viaduct and last weekend I had the great pleasure to travel over the Glenfinnan Viaduct aboard the Jacobite steam train on the trip between Fort William and Mallaig and back again

This particular train and viaduct have become famous worldwide thanks to their usage in the Harry Potter movies. Having never read or seen anything to do with Harry Potter this connection was wasted on me and I was left to simply enjoy the breathtaking scenery and the enjoyment of a journey on a steam train

The train leaves Fort William at 10.20 in the morning and as soon as you take in the sounds and smell as the steam train gathers pace you feel as if you are transported back in time to an altogether more innocent age.

It is not long before the train reaches the magnificent Glenfinnan Viaduct. This impressive structure was built between July 1897 and October 1898 at a cost of under £19,000. My own photo taken through the train window does not do the viaduct justice so the main picture used above was taken from Harry Potter's flying car

The train then stops at Glenfinnan station allowing you to stretch your legs and enjoy a photo opportunity with superb scenery on all sides

The train then travels on through Arisaig, Britain's most Westerly mainland railway station from where you can see the isles of Rum, Eigg, Muck, Canna and the southern tip of Skye. It is compulsory to sing "Speed bonnie boat............" at this point

You then pass Morar and the silvery beaches used in the movie 'Local Hero'. Strangely the couple sitting opposite us had never seen 'Local Hero'. After giving them a quick synopsis of the plot for the movie and a rendition of the excellent Mark Knopfler soundtrack tune they assured me they would rectify this gap in their lives on their return to Penrith

On arrival at Mallaig there is a turnaround time of about an hour and a half. Mallaig is a fishing port and ferry terminal with services to the 'Small Isles' and Skye. I have to confess that half an hour would have been plenty here but this is undoubtedly the busiest spell of the day for the residents of Mallaig with several coaches full of passengers all looking to have lunch and spend money at the same time. There is a housing estate on the side of the hill here and I thought to myself what a wonderful view to have from your window every morning when you wake up

The return journey was spent chatting with our new found friends from Penrith, generally enjoying the scenery and taking random photos through the windows. As we were facing backwards on the return journey this proved tricky as a tree or tunnel would appear from nowhere just as I was about to capture a magic moment

I did however manage to capture a nice photo of the couple across the aisle who were from Atlanta, Georgia. I am now familiar with their entire family history along with the advantages of living in Atlanta even though their conversation was not with us

On my return home I looked up how possible it was to see the viaduct from below and now plan to drive up sometime soon so there may be more scintillating viaduct pictures to follow at a later date

The train journey has been voted Top Railway Journey in the World. I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone and you do not have to have any knowledge of Harry Potter to enjoy it

Each time I hear, ra da da da da..........

'Michelle, ma belle.
Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble,
Très bien ensemble.'

These insightful words have recently earned Paul McCartney France's Legion of Honour Award.

I am not sure that when Napoleon Bonaparte first introduced this honour in 1802 that this was what he had in mind. Equally when Sir Paul penned this little ditty in 1965 I don't suppose that he expected that nearly 50 years later it would result in such an accolade.

Over the years it has not been uncommon for pop songs to throw in a little foreign language to spice things up and give them an air of sophistication. Who can forget the Swedish Britt Ekland singing seductively in French on Rod Stewart's 'Tonight's The Night'. I can only imagine with Britt that every night was in fact the night

In the 60s 'Je t'aime...moi non plus' became not only the first single in a foreign language to top the UK charts but also the first banned number one single due to it's supposed sexual content although to me if you read the Phone Book in French it would sound sexual

Anyway I present my Top 10 Songs including foreign lyrics (strangely most of them are French, so there may be more Legion of Honour Medals to follow)

1. Monsieur Dupont.....Sandie Shaw (1969)
    'I'm learning every day, a different word to say
    I know "je t'aime" and "je t'adore"
    But won't you tell me how, oh won't you tell me now
    The way to say en Francais: Give me more!'

....and she sang that without any shoes on. Why was that not banned?

2. Wooden Heart.........Elvis went all German and asked his 'schatz' to 'bleibst hier'

3. Denis, Denis....Blondie
     'Je suis si folle de toi'.....I wish Debbie Harry was 'si folle de moi'

4. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick.....Ian Dury mixed his French and German and told us
    'Je t'adore, Ich liebe dich'....'Das ist gut, c'est fantastique'

5. Look What They Done To My Song, Ma......Melanie complained that 'ils ont change ma chanson et ce n'est pas bon, ma'

6. Que Sera Sera, Whatever Will Be, Will Be......we're going to Wembley with Doris Day

7. Games Without Frontiers....Peter Gabriel's excellent song includes the hook 'Jeux Sans Frontieres' and even quotes "It's A Knockout" which was the UK version of the game from the continent

8. Across The Universe.......The Beatles....John Lennon introduced a Sanskrit Mantra 'Jai Guru Deva, Om' which loosely translates as 'Ayr, Ayr Super Ayr'

9. Fade To Grey....Visage front man Steve Strange told us of an 'homme dans une gare desole...deux yeux fixes et froides' before he began to 'deperir a gris'

10. Hold On Tight....ELO....Jeff Lynne and the boys advised us 'accroches toi a ton reve'. Sound advice Jeff


Right I am off to sing that line in French from 'Lady Marmalade' to some poor unsuspecting female and hope that I don't get my usual slap in the face

Au Revoir, mes amis!

Live those dreams, scheme those schemes, got to hit me, hit me, hit me with those laser beams

Although it is still early days for me to impress on Young Ben the importance of listening to some proper music rather than the current stuff favoured by his mum and dad at least he has recently been sporting some T-shirts with band names from my era. This is thanks to an excellent kids' range from Next which features The Rolling Stones, The Beatles and The Jam amongst others.

Sartorial elegance has never really been my style but I have always loved a good T-shirt and when I used to pack my case for a holiday abroad I would always have a different T-shirt for each day I was there and would also try to purchase a T-shirt as a memento of place visited or event experienced

With this in mind I give you my Top 10 Favourite T-shirts. Given that I cannot carry off the look with the same panache as Young Ben and that some of them may be somewhat 'snug' these days, these T-shirts are on hangers rather than modelled by yours truly

Unfortunately some old favourites like 'Jaws' , 'Terminator' , '49ers' and 'Frankie Says...' have not survived the intervening years and are now used only as dusters. Well they would be used as dusters if I actually ever dusted. These 10 deserve a better fate than that. Maybe I could donate them to a T-shirt museum

1.

Back To The Future T-Shirt from Universal Studios Theme Park in Florida.

I remember we queued for hours for this ride back in the 90s and it didn't disappoint

2.

I bought this on my trip to San Francisco and it has outlasted the SF 49ers one                               

3.  

Bruce Springsteen The Rising Tour T-Shirt

Bought this when my son and I saw 'The Boss' at Old Trafford Cricket Ground in Manchester in 2003

4.

Homer Simpson Doesn't Wear Khakis

It was a choice between this one and my 'Homer Simpson/Scarface' T-Shirt but this one got the nod since it aptly portrays the similar lifestyle enjoyed by Homer and myself                                                          

5. 

                                                      FDNY T-Shirt from New York

If you visit New York I believe it is almost compulsory to buy either an FDNY T-Shirt or an NYPD one. I have one of each. 

6. 

I don't have a Rolling Rock T-Shirt and my Tequila ones have seen better days but drinking a Corona beer whilst wearing a Corona T-Shirt on a sunny day is fine by me

7.

                                                      France 98 World Cup T-Shirt

This was the last time Scotland were actually at the World Cup and given yesterday's disappointing performance it does not look like I will be adding a Brazil 2014 World Cup T-Shirt to my collection

8. 

                                           Predator Dive Co. Sausalito T-Shirt

Another purchase from my trip to San Francisco and it has a shark on it. What's not to like

9.

'Che' Guevara T-Shirt

Everyone of a certain vintage should have a 'Che' T-Shirt in their collection

10.

                                                                                                                                      

                                                  'Karhu' T-Shirt

A home made T-Shirt done by my mate to commemorate our trip to Finland. 'Karhu' is Finnish for bear and is also a type of beer which was frequently sampled on our trip although we called it 'Shardik' as it reminded us of the creature from the Richard Adams book of the same name. Oh how we laughed at our own private joke.

Right that's it from me for another week.

I am off to see if I can find a Springsteen T-Shirt in Ben's size anywhere.